Thursday, May 26, 2005

steve's naked bottoms speech

Jill: [about the film "Lesbian Spank Inferno"] How could you possibly enjoy a film like that?

Steve: Oh, because it's got naked women in it! Look, I like naked women! I'm a bloke! I'm supposed to like them! We're born like that. We like naked women as soon as we're pulled out of one. Halfway down the birth canal we're already enjoying the view. Look, it's the four pillars of the male heterosexual psyche. We like: naked women, stockings, lesbians, and Sean Connery best as James Bond. Because that is what being a bloke is. And if you don't like it, darling, join a film collective.

Look, I want to spend the rest of my life with the woman at the end of the table here. But that does not stop me wanting to see several thousand more naked bottoms before I die. Because that's what being a bloke is. When Man invented fire, he didn't say "Hey, let's cook!" He said: "Great! Now we can see naked bottoms in the dark!" As soon as Caxton invented the printing press we were using it to make pictures of - hey! - naked bottoms. We've turned the Internet into an enormous international database of... naked bottoms. So, you see, the story of male achievement through the ages - feeble though it may have been - has been the story of our struggle to get a better look at your bottoms.

Frankly, girls, I'm not so sure how insulted you really ought to be.

Coupling, 1x04 "Inferno"

5 comments:

Jess said...

Hey, brilliant!

Mikey's started us watching Coupling...at this point I've seen all of the first season and most of the second. I'm rapidly becoming a big fan--and it's kind of creepily weird how well the three guys map onto Mikey and two of his close friends--he's the Steve counterpart, thank god. But he sort of does have a Patrick and a Jeff (I love them both dearly, but they're nuts.)

Hehe, found your new blog. And not long after you started it, either, which is quite a coincidence because I had all but stopped checking your old site. I left the address for one of mine, but they're linked to each other--I finally caved last summer and got a Livejournal. Oy. Oh well.

:) Love you!

jadis said...

jess!!!! :D hi, honey!! glad you love the steve speech--it's one of my personal favorites. coupling is soooo hysterical, it's hard to imagine just how the amercian version got it so wrong.

congrats on being a junior! you've joined the ranks of the cool kids ;) keep in touch, cutie!! xoxox

dvf said...

What is this coupling that you speak of?

jadis said...

you must check it out. coupling is an awesome british comedy tv series; not quite a sitcom but probably that's the best way to describe it. it's about sex. and realtionships. and it's so, so funny.

nbc tried to americanize it, which failed miserably (cancelled after 4 episodes...and that was 3 eps too many), but you should bit torrent the first three seasons of the original (the fourth season is not as good), and check it out. alternatively, you can return my call and i'll burn you a copy.

jadis said...

ooh. did ya see how i snuck that in?