Monday, July 25, 2005

zombies, the pill, and anniversaries

i woke up this morning after having spent all night battling zombies in my dreams. somehow claudia (my coworker girlfriend) and i were at the remains of a completely destroyed degrassi high (lol), slaying badguys with automatic weapons (and even syringes at one point – that’s badass! except the zombie pulled it out and chucked it back at me, which sucked). i do admit that i felt a bit like a videogame heroine when i wasn’t scared out of my wits, but i was in the middle of the climactic scene when my alarm went off, and even when you’re having a bad dream, you still want to see how it plays out…so there were several snooze sessions that involved my attempted regression into the battlefield of my mind to try to finish my adventure (it didn't work).

anyway, a couple hours later i was at work, and started feeling super sore in my shoulders, my back and my ribs (which is practically your whole body when you’re talking about places to be sore). i figured it was either all the laps i did over the weekend, or that i had slept really fitfully in some strange position and freaked out my system. basically, my body just feels uncomfortable in my skin today. everything is sore, my eye is a little irritated, it’s freezing at work so my fingers and toes are twenty well-polished little ice cubes, and my stomach is hurting.

which should be a clue, right ladies? of course the first thing claudia suggests is that my time of the month is coming up. instantly, i know she’s right, but it hadn’t occurred to me b/c i’ve been on the pill for so long that i’m used to (1) knowing exactly when everything is going to happen, (2) if i’m not feeling like it, skipping this part of my cycle entirely, (3) oh, i dunno, not having stomach cramps and full-body aches when i haven’t done the requisite mis-eating or exercise to deserve it.

but since toyota doesn’t give full health benefits to us humble interns, and i’m certainly not going to pay $50 a month for birth control when, um, there’s really nothing to control at this point, i decided to do without it until september when i start school again.

here’s some fun facts you may not know:

1) pms-ing sucks. yeeeees, it sucks for guys that have to deal with us (i am sorry), and yeeeees i do know girls who use it as an excuse to be fussy. but honestly? i feel just ridiculously icky in my body right now—everything hurts, no matter how i sit i can’t get my back pain to go away, etc, etc. i don’t know if it’s just my body recoiling from the lack of the drugs for the first time in a year, but pms-ing is like a full-blown body rebellion! so guys! have some sympathy. it’s not great.

2) the pill is great! it is great, great, great. there are many subreasons for this! they include:

3) it prevents children! this is great when you are 22!

4) it clears up your skin! i am not kidding. i’m starting to break out again on my forehead and it’s like….*sigh* nooooot thiiiis agaaaaaaaain. i thought i was dooooone with thiiiiis.

5) it prevents serious cramping. not such a big deal when your cramping was not serious to begin with. very big deal when you had very serious, work-stopping, can’t focus on anything else, i would cut out my uterus and give it to a homeless guy except i think he wouldn’t appreciate it very much cramps.

6) YOU CAN SKIP YOUR PERIOD. THIS IS MAGIC. you can do this at NO harm to your body, INDEFINITELY.

there’s one more item that belongs on this list, but not for me. the pill will also increase your bust size! oh, yes, great for many of you, not so much something i want—i can’t have my boobs any bigger! i’ll fall over! so i went the low-estrogen route, which is supposed to minimize that effect.

anyway, the point of all this was: i had a crazy dream, and i miss the pill.

confidential…to those who find it: today marks 4 years. i like to think she’d be in med school by now, probably a really good one, and probably on a scholarship! dearest miss k…she was so awesome. if i could tell her, i would thank her for always being such an awesome girlfriend to me. i miss you so, so, so much.

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